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What Does the Bible Say About Sex Before Marriage?

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Does the Bible teach that sex before marriage is a sin?

Written by Gary Schneider on 23/04/2019

Series: Weekly Devotional

Tags: Marriage, Sex, Adultery, Pre Marital, Purity

“Let marriage be held in honor among all…”

Hebrews 13:4

Does the Bible even call sex before marriage a sin?

A lot of people in today’s world aren’t sure. Our culture has told us that we should do whatever makes us feel good in the moment and that we shouldn’t even consider what the moral thing to do is.

Here are several verses to consider when thinking about sex before marriage:

1. 1 Corinthians 7:2

“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”

In this verse, the apostle Paul describes any activity outside of marriage as “sexual immorality.” That means when we read of sexual immorality, it includes sex before marriage as one of many examples of sin.

2. Hebrews 13:4

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

What does an undefiled marriage bed look like? It looks likes a bed that a husband and a wife share exclusively together. Any kind of sex that is before, outside or in addition to a married relationship of husband and wife is sinful according to the Bible.

3. Galatians 5:19-21

“Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

In this long list of sins, the sexual sins that Paul includes are sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, and orgies. It would be impossible to argue that the Bible approves of sex outside of marriage. Elsewhere, (1 Corinthians 7:2-5), Paul gives permission for sex between a married man and woman, thus all other forms of sex are sinful.

4. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles, who do not know God…”

Here, Paul contrasts a believer’s self-control over his body with living out of control, burning in passionate lust. The first is living a life that is pleasing to God and is holy, while the second is living a life that does not honor God. In which group do you belong? Does sleeping with someone you meet at a club or are not married to demonstrate control over one’s body, or is it done in the passion of lust?

5. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

These verses speak to the basis of God’s claim on our body. A Christian is to refrain from sexual intercourse with anyone to whom they are not married because Christians belong to God. We have been given the great gift of God indwelling us — the Holy Spirit lives within us — so when we join ourselves to others through one-night stands or anyone we are not married to, we are violating our own body, the other person’s body and the Lord, who has purchased us by pouring out his own body and blood.

If you’ve had sex before marriage, don’t worry! Hope is not lost. God is more than able to forgive you of all of your sins — even the sin of having sex before or outside of marriage. 

1 John 1:9 promises us: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Turn away from all sexual immorality and seek to live under God’s forgiving love. 

For those of us who do struggle with burning passion, just know that it is worth it to wait for the right time to enjoy the gift of sex. Pray that the Lord will bring you a faithful and God-fearing spouse. Sex is a wonderful privilege that comes with great responsibility. You will not regret living your life God’s way!

Pray this week:

Lord Jesus, you know all the ways I have sinned against you and disobeyed your Word. Please forgive me and cleanse my body, soul and spirit with your precious blood. As your child and as a temple of the Holy Spirit, I surrender my body to you. Thank you Jesus for strengthening me and blessing my future spouse with the same blessing that you now give to me. In Jesus’ name Amen. 

How about taking a first step and asking for God’s help? Are you willing to do that?

Alan Zibluk Markethive Founding Member

Markethive

Restored Sexuality- God’s plan for sex

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God’s plan for sex

Written by Joy on 14/06/2016
Series: Weekly Devotional
Tags: Lust, Marriage, Sex, Sin
Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.

Ephesians 5:10
God created sex to be a beautiful gift. In Genesis 2, God says it was not good for man to be alone so God created the perfect partner, a woman, so they could become one flesh. The chapter closes with the statement, “they were both naked and felt no shame.” Sex creates a unique relationship that involves physical, emotional and mental unity and completion.

If sex is blessed by God, what makes it immoral?

Blessings Lost
When we forget God has authority to set limits, blessings are lost. “Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused.” (Romans 1:28). Your phone works best when you use it the way it was designed. In the same way, God designed sex to work a certain way. Rejecting His design leads to darkness, confusion, secrecy, shame, and judgement.

Blessed Design
God used His infinite wisdom to design sex in the beginning. God does not need to “evolve.” He does not change his mind based on our opinions. Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation give a very clear picture of the kind of sex that pleases God. “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24). God approves of sex when it is between one man and one woman who have made a lifelong commitment to marriage. Jesus confirmed this to be an unchanging truth in Matthew 19.

Are you willing to trust God’s wisdom and love and follow his guidelines?

Blessing Restored
“He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son He loves. We have redemption, the forgiveness of sins, in Him.” (Colossians 1:13-14). We no longer have to sit in the darkness of shame and confusion. Jesus has made us children of light! (Ephesians 5:8-11)

“You cannot say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies…If we belong to Christ our body is not our own but a temple of the Holy Spirit and therefore we should honor God with our body.” (1 Corinthians 6:13, 19-20). Obedience to God’s plan for sex is a choice we make when we want to please God, not ourselves (Colossians 3:1-17). God has given every Christian the Holy Spirit to teach us truth and empower us to obey it.

Are you going to find out what pleases the Lord and choose to live by it?

Pray this week:
Show me, Lord, where I am not pleasing you in my attitudes and actions regarding sex.

Do you really know what Scriptures say about sexual sin? I

Alan Zibluk Markethive Founding Member

Markethive

Do Not Commit Sexual Assault Or Harass Others

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A woman is made in God’s image and her body is meant for His glory.

Written by Hope on 06/12/2016
Series: Weekly Devotional
Tags: Sex, Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment, Temptation, Self Control
Tell the young men to have self-control in everything.

Titus 2:6
A woman is made in God’s image. Her body is meant to bring Him glory, not to become a source of ungodly lust.

God is working His unique plan in her life. Your life as a Christian man should exhibit the “self-controlled” fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23), not the immoral ways of the flesh (Galatians 5:19). Even if you see her walking alone, even if she is wearing something provocative, even if she is sexually forward with you, resist temptations to be immoral in thought or deed. God has promised that He “will show you how to escape from your temptations” (I Corinthians 10:13). And He asks that you “offer your bodies to him as a living sacrifice, pure and pleasing” (Romans 12:1).

God Commands Self-Control
In some societies, women are not permitted to leave their homes without a male relative. In others, women are blamed after being attacked by men, sometimes for wearing clothing that is ‘too provocative,’ or not trusted when they come forward with a story of sexual assault.

God’s Word says this is wrong! It is shameful for a man to brag about attacking or harassing women, and it is shameful to a community when such men go without facing consequences. Instead, God instructs His people repeatedly to behave with “self-control” (I Corinthians 7, I Timothy 3:2). Nowhere is it more difficult to have self-control than in the face of sexual temptation.

When Faced With Temptation To Torment
If you have the opportunity to take advantage of someone sexually, DON’T! Here are some ideas for avoiding temptation to commit sexual assault:

It is natural to recognise human beauty in a woman, and you can praise God for His work, without comment to the woman or to other men. Be truthful with yourself; if you feel lustful, acknowledge that sin before God and repent.
If you are often overcome with lust, discuss this with your pastor or another male friend who can help you move your focus to God.
When a woman is in public alone and it is appropriate to speak with her, limit yourself to a polite greeting. If you feel tempted to harass or sexually assault her, let God guide you to turn your attention elsewhere! If other men torment her, you can defend her, as appropriate; remember, “God’s Spirit doesn’t make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control” (II Timothy 1:7), and “if you don’t do what you know is right, you have sinned” (James 4:17).
Simply put, treat every woman as respectfully you’d want a sister treated. Think of her as beloved by God: He has invested His image in her. His Son died for her sins, just as He did for yours. Your good behaviour will help “your light shine, so that others will see the good that you do and will praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
Maybe you know someone who has experienced sexual assault? Maybe you have been the victim yourself? It happens more often in some cultures than others. Be aware of the need to show grace to those who have been harmed and correction for those attitudes which allow abuse to continue.

Pray this week:
That God will embolden you to turn away from sexual temptation and to treat others respectfully.

Alan Zibluk Markethive Founding Member

Markethive

Facing Sexual Temptation

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Everyone—from presidents to preachers—is subject to sexual temptation.

Tags: Sex, Sin, Temptation
Adultery. It’s a common word and a common occurrence in our society.

But adultery’s stain goes deeper than the individual. More dishonor has come to the name of Jesus Christ by sexual sin than any other sin.

You Will be Tempted.
C.S. Lewis, in The Screwtape Letters, said, "No man knows how bad he is until he has tried to be good. There is a silly idea that good people don’t know what temptation means."

We must learn from the Lord to enjoy full mastery over sex, His marvelous gift. "For God did not give us the spirit of timidity," Paul reminds us, "but the spirit of power and love and self-control."

Proverbs 4:23 exhorts, "Above all else, guard your heart, for out of it flow the springs of life." How can we do that?

Monitor your fantasizing and daydreaming when your mind is idle. Refuse pornography, whether written or in movies or videos.

You can talk yourself into sexual sin. It happened to a friend of mine. He had won thousands to Christ during 25 years. Suddenly he left his wife and became hard and rebellious, even pretending to return to evangelism. I found out that for years he had secretly watched pornographic films, yet preached heavily against immorality. Eventually, like a serpent, it bit him. It has happened to better people than you and me.

Firmly implant in your soul God’s principles established for our protection.
Believe them, accept them, reaffirm them. Study Malachi 2:13-16 and 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, and make Joseph in Genesis 39 a model. He faced, resisted and triumphantly ran from temptation. But be ready! As my mentor, Ray Stedman, said, "Woe to the man who has to learn principles at a time of crisis!"

The Word of God, as our meat and drink, keeps the inner man and woman strong and sensitive on a continuing basis. "Your Word I have hid in my heart, that I might not sin against you" (Psalm 119:11).

Resisting temptation by quoting scripture still is a mighty tool.

One preacher I know allowed himself to become enchanted by an attractive, sensuous convert who had made advances shortly before he led her to Christ. He resisted and she had converted.

Three years later, he saw her again. He drew close to offer an "innocent" kiss nothing more, he tells us when the young woman started quoting, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). He left in a hurry!

God will remove His hand from your service to Him if you allow lust to lead you to actual sexual immorality. Samson lost his power. "He did not know that the Lord had left him" (Judges 16:20). So many friends started out well—winsome, friendly, authoritative. Where are they now? I can think of half a dozen on the sidelines because of money, sex, or pride. Useless, lonely, fruitless, bitter.

Beware:
Failure does not occur suddenly, overnight, in one blast of a careless moment or the explosion of uncontrolled passion. Dr. George Sweeting of Moody Bible Institute said, "Collapse in Christian life is rarely a blowout. It’s usually a slow leak." When a man takes that fatal step, it has been gestating in his soul for months, perhaps years. Toying, daydreaming. One step at a time, the sensitivity level lowers. Then, the unthinkable occurs.

Have you stumbled in this sensitive area of your life? Confess, make amends, clear yourself with the proper people. Where are you in your walk with God? If you must get reconciled to Him, do it now! "He who comes to me, I will in no way cast out," the Lord has said.

Sexual holiness demands we not play games in flirting, body language, and clothing. In the cases of fallen men I know, they first failed in precisely those areas. Keep friends accountable before drastic failure, discipline, and sadness happen.

What Bible verse helps you the most when faced with sexual temptation? Do you have an accountability partner? For additional help in this area, send a message by clicking the below, and ask your Onine Missionary to send you the "Sexual Purity" Bible studies.

Alan Zibluk Markethive Founding Member

Markethive

Why Should We Run from Sexual Sin?

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The proper place for sex is between a husband and wife. Outside of that relationship, sex is destructive to you and to others, just like an out of control fire.

Written by Dan Lee on 22/02/2015
Series: Weekly Devotional
Tags: Love, Lust, Marriage, Pleasure, Relationship, Sex, Sin, Temptation
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

A fire provides warmth, light and comfort. But if a fire gets out of control, it can destroy your home, your possessions and even your life. Sex is a lot like that. The proper place for sex is between a husband and wife. Outside of that relationship, sex is destructive to you and to others, just like an out of control fire. Here are 3 important reasons to avoid sexual sin.

1. Sex Affects Our Body, Mind and Spirit
God created us with a body, a mind and a spirit. These parts of us are completely woven together. When we use our bodies to do things outside of God’s will, we not only impact our body, but our mind and soul as well.

2. It Offends God
God wants us to avoid sexual sin. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” When you came to know Christ, His Spirit came to live in you. When we sin sexually, we are, in a way, “taking Him along for the ride” – to a place He tells us not to go. After King David confessed his sexual sin, he addressed God, saying “Against you, you only, have I sinned, and done what is evil in your sight” (Psalm 51:4).

3. It Hurts Others
Jesus said, “If you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea” (Matthew 18:6) The Lord uses very strong language here, because our responsibility as His followers is to teach others godly behavior that glorifies Him. Leading another believer into sin is the exact opposite of what we should do.

When we are tempted to lead someone we believe we love into sin, we have to question if the feelings we have for that person are really love. After all, God reveals to us that love is patient, not selfish, and that it does not take pleasure in evil. Instead, love waits patiently with the best of intentions toward the other person. (1 Corinthians 13:5-7, Ephesians 5:25-28)

How do we leave sexual sin?
God always gives us hope and a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). Whatever you have done, know that God is always ready to forgive (1 John 1:9). Are you ready to accept Jesus and leave sexual sin? Click here to start a new life with Jesus.

Pray this week:
Lord, thank you for reminding me that because you have bought me with a price, that I am not my own. Help me through the power of your Holy Spirit to glorify you with my body and in every aspect of my life. Give me the courage to seek the help I need.

What reason is most effective in helping you avoid sexual sin – affects your body, mind, spirit; offends God; hurts others? Talking to someone is vital in overcoming this area of sin; don't wait to get help.

Alan Zibluk Markethive Founding Member

Markethive

The Pressure to Have Sex and Be Attractive

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In many cultures, women are pressured to have sex and look appealing to men

Written by Hope on 25/07/2015
Series: Weekly Devotional
Tags: Beauty, Culture, Relationships, Sex, Temptation
“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” I Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)

From a young age, what were you taught to “be?” In many cultures, girls are taught how to be pleasing to men. This can cause a girl to stop focusing on God and get consumed with trying to catch a man’s attention through looks, actions and even sex.

Constant Pressure
Were you taught that your goal in life is catch a man’s attention so you can get married one day? Although God has a wonderful plan for marriage, our duty is to “live in a way that pleases God” (I Thessalonians 4:1), not men or women. From every direction, we are pressured to look, act and live like the admired women of our culture: being obsessed with shoes, clothes, jewelry, or hairstyles; or making your face or body look a certain way; or having a boyfriend or husband.

Remember, “those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit” (Romans 8:5). Let God’s Holy Spirit transform you into the woman He wants you to be, rather than the woman the world says you should be.

Growing Obsessions
Obsessions about your appearance can hurt your relationship with God and cause you to seek earthly things. You might even use your looks or body to gain control over people who are attracted to you. For example, some people want or need money. As a result, they use their appearance to attract someone who has lots of money instead of trusting God to provide.

By trying to gain power over others using sexual attraction, you begin focusing on sex rather than the Lord. But Jesus instructed His followers, “seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need” (Matthew 6:33). Rather than being tempted to depend on your own looks or body to get what you want or need from others, trust in the infinite power of God.

Being Holy
Your family, friends and even other Christians may not recognize this temptation. Some men often pretend to love an attractive woman to get them to have sex. But remember that “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin” (I Thessalonians 4:3). When you find yourself tempted to pursue earthly approval from men, or use sex and material things to attract men, remember the Bible’s instructions to “set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2).

Pray this week:
Dear God, help me focus on pleasing you instead of men or women. By the power of the Holy Spirit, make me the person you want me to be and help me to put aside sexual temptation. Amen.

Do you feel pressure to have sex or do you pressure men or women to look attractive and please the opposite sex? Talk to a caring Christian about it.

Alan Zibluk Markethive Founding Member